Out of the Deep Roads
by TheTwilightMoon
Summary: Just a blip that popped into my head while I playing through DA 2. How would the story go as our heroes escaped the Deep Roads after Bartrand's betrayal? Enjoy the silliness of made up party banter.


**A.N:**** Just a little blip that popped into my head while playing through "Dragon Age II". I wondered what happened while our heroes were heading **_**out**_** of the Deep Roads after Bartrand's betrayal. Just this silly little thing came into my head XD I love made up party banter! Please note: I have not been playing with Fenris much, so I am sorry if he seems little OOC.**

Out of the Deep Roads

This was getting ridiculous! It had been days since Bartrand had locked us in the chamber, we had battled past those blighting elemental bastards, and now we were stuck trekking back through the Deep Roads home to Kirkwall. You'd think that even though I was forced to venture through Darkspawn infested lands, I'd at least be enjoying myself...relatively.

But no.

The entire time, Anders and Fenris hadn't _shut the hell up_. All they did was bicker and whine back and forth! It was getting _so_ annoying. Don't get me wrong, I love those two to bits, but this was starting to give me a headache. I could tell it was even beginning to bother Varric, who was usually good-natured. How I wished Isabela, Merrill, or even Aveline were here. Isabela had said she'd had better things to do than come with us, Merrill had had some "project" she was working on, and Aveline couldn't abandon her post as guard captain. As for Bethany, my lovely little sister, I had promised mother I wouldn't take her with us, so she wouldn't get killed, or worse.

Even so, here I was, stuck with two people I cared for deeply who were continuously hating on oneanother. On one hand, I had Anders: a kind, caring apostate, whom I could never hurt, since I thought all mages deserved better lives and he had helped me, and my companions, through much. On the other hand, I had Fenris: a brooding hurt elf, who had earned my sympathy the moment I had met him. Though I would choose the mages over the Templars any day, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him, since he had been hurt so badly by a mage, though I'd never say that aloud, especially in front of Anders.

And now, here we were, wandering along through the Deep Roads, my patience wearing _extremely _thin.

"You can't honestly hate _all_ mages, can you?" Anders was asking Fenris, for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

"I can, and I do." Fenris replied monotonously. He looked straight ahead, his jaw clenched.

"But...how? It was _one_ man who tortured you! That can't possibly define every mage!" Anders was almost whining now, and I had to resist the urge to yell at them to shut up.

"Let me ask you something, _mage_." Fenris said through gritted teeth, "you hate Templars, yes? Now tell me this: if you were to meet a Templar you had never met before, would you not automatically assume they were out to kill you, simply because you were a mage?"

Anders went quiet now, scowling in silence at Fenris who, looking smug, turned away from the apostate and back to walking.

"That is...beside the point. If they proved themselves kind enough...perhaps I'd..." He was struggling for words, trying to somehow prove Fenris wrong. It was then I snapped

I whirled to face them. "I swear to the Maker, _stop bickering!_ If you two so much as snap at each other one more time, the next group of Darkspawn we encounter, I am feeding you _both_ to them!" I was seething with anger now, and Fenris and Anders stared at me, Anders in surprise, and Fenris with almost amusement. Behind us, Varric was snickering.

"Good one Hawke," the dwarf chuckled. "I'd listen to her boys; she's being serious." Anders threw me a worried look, and I glared at them both.

"It's not my fault he hates mages!"

"Anders..." I said in a warning tone.

"It's not my fault he _is_ a mage..." Fenris muttered.

"Fenris! Dear_ Maker! _I can't take this anymore! You two are impossible!" I threw my hands up with the last statement, and I stomped away to a more secluded spot of the road that looked remotely safe. "We make camp here. Fenris, you're on first watch; maybe you can use some of that mage-hating rage against potential Darkspawn." This statement caused Anders to snort, but I threw him a murderous glare, and that shut him up.

The elf glared daggers at me, before skulking over to the edge of camp, where he sat brooding as usual. I watched him for a moment, before setting down my leather backpack full of provisions, and started up a small fire. Varric almost immediately fell asleep, and Anders sat with his back to me, a sign I took to mean he was irked with me. I rolled my eyes and pulled out a small piece of convenient parchment from my pack and, picking up a small piece of charcoal from the fire, began to scribble down what I felt was a journal entry. I ranted and raved about my companions, about how incredibly annoying Fenris could be, but yet he was still a strong and dedicated person, despite his past. I wrote about how Anders could be very sensitive and cold, but at the same he was sweet and loving...to me anyway. Varric was my best friend, and I wrote thusly. The dwarf and I had spent quite a bit of time together in the last few weeks, and he and I were quite close.

I was in mid sentence, when Fenris interrupted me. "Hawke." He said blandly.

I looked up at him, "Fenris, if you're here to complain about Anders, or mages, again, I swear I'll kill you."

He looked, for once, taken aback. "I merely came to apologize for my earlier behaviour...it was...inappropriate."

I snorted, "Yeah, thanks."

He smirked at me, and I felt goose bumps erupt on my skin. "I was also going to say, next time I bicker with the mage, we shall do so not in earshot of you." He then turned and walked back to his post, leaving me with my mouth hanging open. _Really? FOR MAKER'S SAKE._

I went back to scribbling mercilessly on my parchment, _he is so immature! Stupid elf. Stupid, stupid elf!_ I was getting angrier, when Anders was suddenly standing in front of me. I looked up at him.

"Let me guess: you're here to either complain more about Fenris, or apologize?"

Anders gave me a somewhat fearful smile. "The second. After what you said earlier, I'm terrified to ever make you angry again. You my dear, are terrifying." He sat down next to me, and tried to read what I was writing, but I pulled it away.

"Terrifying eh? Heh, I'll keep that in mind the next time you annoy me. Now, I believe you were going to apologize to me?"

He looked at me with those humongous brown eyes of his that gave me the notion he was just a large puppy (a puppy in this case being silly, since Anders was a cat person). "Yes, I am sorry Hawke, truly. It's just...I can't understand how he can hate _all_ of us!"

"He had a point, didn't he?" I said quietly, so Fenris wouldn't hear. "About the whole Templar thing."

Anders looked irked. "He did, which is what annoys me the most."

I smiled slightly, "You hate the fact he was right, eh?" I flipped my long dark plait over my shoulder, and started playing with it. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him watching me.

"Exactly." He sighed, "You know this isn't over between him and I, right?"

I let out all my breath in a _whoosh_. "I know, and that's what bugs me the most. You two are...exactly like my brother and I were as children. It is amusing...and incredibly annoying at the same time."

"Don't deny it Hawke; you know you love them both!" Varric said suddenly, making Anders and I jump.

"I thought you were sleeping Varric?" Anders asked in amusement, regarding the dwarf.

"I am, don't bother me." The dwarf replied, rolling over, his back to us. Anders and I exchanged amused looks, before the mage returned to his previous spot by the fire, his back to me as well.

I sat there, looking at my companions, my mind reeling. I leaned back on my pack, letting my head fall back as sleep slowly crept towards me. Before I succumbed to it, I wrote one last sentence in my "journal".

_What am I to do with these boys?_

**A.N.:**** Yay smut! Haha, I wrote this fast, and it was fun XD Hope you all enjoyed it. **


End file.
